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Positive discipline resources

August 29, 2007 - 15:12 — Alenka

Where can I read more about Positive Discipline ?

My personal favorites are Playful Parenting by Lawrence Cohen and What Babies Say Before They Can Talk : The Nine Signals Infants Use to Express Their Feelings by Paul Holinger, Kalia Doner

The best how to book I was able to find so far is How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber, Elaine Mazlish. Read our book review and even summary to print out and hang on the fridge for quick reference.

Please find more recommendations below.

  • Lawrence Cohen website: http://www.playfulparenting.com/. There is an occasional email e-newsletter that you can sign up for; click on e-newsletter on the left.
  • #1 book rec: Kids are Worth It! by Barbara Coloroso. This is one of the mostly recommended book. I am currently finishing it myself - and I am totally in love with it. It is by all means one of the most useful for parents of kids any ages. It has lots of examples for toddlers, school age kids and fantastic suggestions for teenagers.
  • #2: Kids, Parents and Power Struggles by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka.
  • Jane Nelsen's book Positive Discipline . This book was recommended for parents with coming from a punitive mindset, as one of the members of PositiveDisciplineParenting group put it: "especially if you're afraid your kids will be brats if you don't punish them."
  • Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn and
  • Punished by Rewards by Alfie Kohn
    Please note: Alfie Kohn is extremely criticized by many for suggestions on withholding praise, since it might actually harm kids self-esteem. At the same time many PositiveDiscipline parents are highly-highly praising his approach! Take a look for yourself and please share your opinions or other resources.
  • "Grace-based Parenting" by Tim Kimmel. This is a Christian book. Someone commented that it's not a how-to book, but it really confronts a lot of the parenting principles usually associated with so called "biblical" parenting. From the book description posted at amazon.com:
    Rejecting rigid rules and checklists that don't work, Dr. Kimmel recommends a parenting style that mirrors God's love, reflects His forgiveness, and displaces fear as a motivator for behavior. As we embrace the grace God offers, we begin to give it-creating a solid foundation for growing morally strong and spiritually motivated children.
  • Kid Cooperation by Elizabeth Pantley. I really like other books by Elizabeth Pantley, such as " The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night", but someone commented that in this book the author actually has recommendations on using time outs - a practice that is is based punitive discipline, rather then positive discipline mindset.
  • Dr. Gordon's Parent Effectiveness Training

Happy reading!

Comments

February 14, 2008 - 22:39 — Admin

Thanks to Oak Park

Thanks to Oak Park Veggie:
Well, I'm no PD guru, but for someone with small kids, I'd recommend Becky Baily's "Easy To Love, Difficult to Discipline" because she has a concrete "plan" with steps and examples that apply to little ones. Some of the other books I've read are good conceptually, but don't have much concrete advice on "how to" kwim

February 14, 2008 - 22:43 — Admin

Thanks to Amy, mom of 3:This

Thanks to Amy, mom of 3:
This one:
Easy-Love-Difficult-Discipline

February 14, 2008 - 23:03 — Admin

Thanks to Ima: Hmmm, you

Thanks to Ima:

Hmmm, you guys really like this one? I found it confusing (i.e. too much info not that well organized). If I had three kids under 5 and one on the way, I think I'd rather be reading "There's gotta be a BETTER way" by the same author.

Kid Cooperation by Elizabeth Pantley. She probably isn't 100% PD (she does mention time-outs), but her book gives great examples on how to be loving, yet firm - which I assume would be a great leap for your cousin. Apart from the time-outs, which Pantley is not adverse to, I found it to be an easy and well structured read with tons of practical info.

There is a good chapter about sibling rivalry, and also about parental anger.

And yes, I am aware that I am suggesting another book LOL. I love to read anything by Bailey; but the Pantley book impressed me with many of its messages.

February 14, 2008 - 23:20 — Admin

Thanks to

Thanks to The4OfUs/Heathee:
For parents coming from a very punitive mindset, my favorite "transition" book is Anthony Wolf's "Secret of Parenting" - because it is a parent-in-charge kind of book, but has the subtitle "How to be in charge of today's kids WITHOUT threats or punishment". It's an easy, accessible read that explains some motivations behind what kids do, and gives concrete examples and scripts of things you can say to them.

It may not be the MOST PD book out there, but IMO it's a GREAT book to bridge the gap from punitive to positive, and helps create the PD mindset (because it's a hard thing for a lot of people to wrap their minds around) without being too gushy or theoretical. Once they digest Wolf, moving on to others is that much easier.

February 14, 2008 - 23:24 — Admin

Thanks to Erin M: I liked

Thanks to Erin M:
I liked Kids Are Worth It. It really gave me some concrete reasons for changing to a non-punitive mindset.