The general safety notion is to teach our kids to never to talk to strangers. But is it really so?

If our kids find themselves in uncomfortable situation, shouldn't they turn to adults for help - such as policemen, store manager, school teacher, or just a sweet lady? We don't want our kids to talk to strangers, but yet we do! If our kids get lost, shouldn't they turn to adults who can help them find their parents? Or if they find themselves in a dangerous situation, or if they find their friends in danger, or if there is a busy intersection... shouldn't they turn to a safe stranger?

We, ourselves send a mixed message to our kids: "Never talk to strangers", and then "Oh, she is too shy around people she doesn't know. Common, Grace, tell our nice neighbor what your name!.. Why didn't you call someone for help, when your sister broke your leg on the playground?"

To make our messages even more confusing, we ourselves are "talking to strangers" all the time! We engage in a friendly chit-chats standing in line in the supermarket, we stop to ask for directions, we exchange sweet complements with the neighbors, we give a hand to an old lady or ask someone for help ourselves... aren't these people all strangers? They certainly are to our kids.

What is even scarier, is that often the predator we are so afraid to find among the numerous strangers, turns out to be the friend of the family. He is not stranger to our kids, so they should automatically trust him, right?

There are two very opposing views on how to teach our kids safety and protect them from predators: the most common scenario is screaming "Never talk to strangers!!!", while the another advice is to teach our kids differentiate which "strangers" are safe to address, hone their intuition and hope that if they become lost, or even find themselves in danger, they can find the RIGHT stranger to turn to.

Nevertheless, here are the resources for both philosophies:

• "Protecting the Gift: Keeping Children and Teenagers Safe" by Gavin DeBecker: this author recommends letting your children talk to strangers under your supervision. This is the review that Amazon.com printed for the book:
  

  In this valuable, even necessary, book, he shatters many myths about the typical profiles of regular offenders and the prevalence of such problems as sexual abuse and kidnapping. He also deconstructs the wisdom of traditional maxims such as "Never talk to strangers" and "If you are ever lost, go to a policeman." Without offering a compendium of every conceivable danger, he identifies warning signals and real risks that are often easy to spot once you know what to look for. He offers practical advice on recognizing signs of sexual abuse, choosing a baby sitter or nanny, how to prepare kids for walking to school alone, and how to teach children about potential risks without making them afraid to venture out of the house. And he continually stresses that denial and ignoring intuition are the biggest mistakes that parents make in protecting their kids from those that mean them harm. Well written and infinitely informative, Protecting the Gift affords parents more confidence and less reason for unnecessary worry. --Shawn Carkonen

  Author's website: Protecting The Gift

• Thanks to DB from PostiveDisciplineParenting group for sharing this:

One video they really like is "Stranger Safety". It's funny and teaches different situations they might encounter: The Safe Side.

Please share your thoughts and resources!