10 Parenting Tips - Things You Shouldn't Say to Your Children
By Maureen Lawrence

Do you use phrases that edify and encourage your children?

Sometimes we don't say things that edify or encourage our children.

Avoid using these ten parenting tip phrases to your children and you will starting on the road to raising more positive and self-confident children.

1 Just because I say so is not a good reason. Try to avoid using these words to your child.

Parenting tip

always have a reason why your child should or shouldn't do something.

2. If only you could be more like your brother/sister. Each child is an individual and should be respected and treated as such.

Parenting tip

making a child feel inferior is not good for them and inflict pain that can last a life time.
read more »

Bully Proof Your Children - 10 Powerful Strategies to Stop Bullies in Their Tracks
By Jeni Hooper

All parents want their children to be popular. We want them to be confident and relaxed in company and to be able to deal with a whole variety of people. We can't always be there with them to show them how to do it. Even when they are quite young and playing with friends, there will be times when children don't get on. How can you help your child to manage relationships with other people, some of whom may be actively hostile?

Sometimes things go wrong between children because of inexperience, while at other times a young person may be knowingly unkind. You do not want to frighten your child and make them anxious in company and you don't want them to believe that the world is full of scary people. However you do want your child to be able to recognize unacceptable behaviour and to know how to deal with it and if necessary seek adult support.
read more »

This is really tough! The worst is, we have to go through this one a few times per playdate, a few times per day, sometimes - a few times per minute. Some parents believe, that kids are not ready to share until they are 4 years old. I believe, if we want our kids to have playdates, playmates, friends... ever - we have to introduce the concept of sharing early on. Common, you don't want your kid to be not invited to playdate, since he never learned how to successfully resolve such conflicts!

We hold a lot of playdates in our house. We visit our friends a lot. Really a lot. Ever since my son was born. I believe in the importance of development of social skills... even over any other skills. So we've worked out a few rules for ourselves that, with love and lots (lots!) of patience, actually work.
read more »

The general safety notion is to teach our kids to never to talk to strangers. But is it really so?

If our kids find themselves in uncomfortable situation, shouldn't they turn to adults for help - such as policemen, store manager, school teacher, or just a sweet lady? We don't want our kids to talk to strangers, but yet we do! If our kids get lost, shouldn't they turn to adults who can help them find their parents? Or if they find themselves in a dangerous situation, or if they find their friends in danger, or if there is a busy intersection... shouldn't they turn to a safe stranger?

We, ourselves send a mixed message to our kids: "Never talk to strangers", and then "Oh, she is too shy around people she doesn't know. Common, Grace, tell our nice neighbor what your name!.. Why didn't you call someone for help, when your sister broke your leg on the playground?"
read more »

Book Notes that I print out and hang on the fridge for quick reference.

I was searching for a good book on kind and effective ways of dealing with tantrums, conflicts and even everyday situations, so I looked through Positive Discipline Resources and picked up How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber, Elaine Mazlish.

read more »

Creating More Nurturing Environments for Children by Pam Leo

A very nice article on how to set our kids for success: by surrounding them with love, rituals, sense of belonging - a nurturing environment.

"I found one contradiction to that theory that proclaims that we always have to acknowledge our children's feelings," - said my friend today. - "What if my Johnny says, that he is afraid to go into his own room? It's HIS room, he's been sleeping in it for his entire life! There is NOTHING to be afraid! I don't want to confirm his fear by saying that yes, it is indeed scary."

I was puzzled too.

So I returned to my favorite sources. First, in What Babies Say Before They Can Talk by P. Holinger, M.D. there is a whole chapter dedicated to fear. Fear is one of the only seven basic emotions that every child has from birth. Fear is nature's way of helping us detect and avoid danger:

Fear is an alarm bell and children ring it load and clear, perhaps they cannot protect themselves and they need to alert you to come to their assistance... When you are sensitive to the signal for fear and help resolve the situation, your child learns about fear and about regulating it - it is part of his emerging mastery of his outer environment and inner psychological world.(p. 189)
read more »

• Books - Книги
• Internet Resources - Интернетовские ресурсы
• Magazines - Журналы

Books - Книги

Самая полезная книга на свете: "What Babies Say Before They Can Talk : The Nine Signals Infants Use to Express Their Feelings" by Paul Holinger, Kalia Doner, а когда немного подрастет надо обязательно прочитать "Playful Parenting" by Lawrence J. Cohen. Посмотри также другие рекомендации тут:
read more »

Where can I read more about Positive Discipline ?

My personal favorites are Playful Parenting by Lawrence Cohen and What Babies Say Before They Can Talk : The Nine Signals Infants Use to Express Their Feelings by Paul Holinger, Kalia Doner
read more »

My friend just asked me: my son is 8, is it the right time to discuss sex topic with him?

I think you should've started talking about sex even before this age. The importance of discussing sex with your child is like building a bridge between the two of you: it can eliminate so many problems in the future. But if you haven't, that's definitely the time to start!
read more »

I found this article waaaay too important to provide everyone with just a link. You can find more information published in other resources at the end of the article. The original article is published in National Post (Canada).
Dr. Stephen Juan, National Post, Monday, October 30, 2006

CAN LEAVING MY BABY TO "CRY IT OUT" CAUSE BRAIN DAMAGE?

Research suggests that allowing a baby to "cry it out" can cause brain damage. Some experts warn that allowing a baby to "cry it out" causes extreme distress to the baby. And such extreme distress in a newborn has been found to block the full development of certain areas of the brain and causes the brain to produce extra amounts of cortisol, which can be harmful.

According to a University of Pittsburgh study by Dr. M. DeBellis and seven colleagues, published in Biological Psychiatry in 2004, children who suffer early trauma generally develop smaller brains.
read more »

Books that helped me tremendously were "What Babies Say Before They Can Talk : The Nine Signals Infants Use to Express Their Feelings" by Paul Holinger, Kalia Doner and "Playful Parenting" by Lawrence J. Cohen.

Don't be mislead by the title: the first book is not purely for infants - the principles described there helped me with my husband, with my friends, and, of course, with my almost 2 year old. The first book is more "what you are trying to achieve", and Playful parenting is more "how to get there". I keep rereading parts of both.

A recommendation by Amy Makice from PositiveParenting-Discipline:
read more »

This is a neverending topic. But recently there was a discussion on how to handle incredible tantrums that a 16 month old is throwing whenever he wants something. His mother was growing tired of her adorable baby turning into a shaking fists and creeching on a floor monster, who doesn't have the patience to wait while his mother is getting his juice from the refrigerator. Worst of all, trying to comfort him just extended his meltdowns.
read more »

Here is a wonderful recommendation by Beth Garcia, from PositiveDiscipline yahoo group:

To me the majority of these names are just silly. I'd get silly back- "Tooshie butt!! Well, you better not call me an elephant!", "What? I can't believe you called me elephant, okay, just don't call me penguin". Eventually we're laughing and chasing and the whole thing has blown over. Now, for "shut up", we've been very consistent with telling him "that isn't a nice thing to say, you may say 'be quiet please', or 'I don't like what you said', etc.". Yes, my DH feels he gets too much power but it really does work for us.
read more »

This is absolutely terrific: "The Five Steps are a technique developed by Lisa Kuzara-Seibold, Minister of Early Childhood Education at Word of Grace Church in Mesa, Arizona...." read more and click your browser "Back" button to come back for more techniques and resources available on this site.