A kid easily succeeds with another task that leaves his peers struggling. Parents, beaming with pride, praise the kid by telling him, that he is talented, he is gifted. Praise is good, right? Not necessarily. As a parent who believes that praise is a very important and integral part of learning, of building confidence, I can see more and more that some types of praise can do more damage then good. Have you noticed, how sometimes "talented and gifted" kid can shy away from a difficult assignment, whose grades can even suddenly drop and he can lose all the interest in school, in work, in new accomplishments? Is it the school being too tough? Or should we blame the way we were praising this kid, how we present their learning process to them, how their self-image effects their undertaking of difficult assignments?

Why do some students give up when they encounter difficulty, whereas others who are no more skilled continue to strive and learn? One answer, I soon discovered, lay in people’s beliefs about why they had failed...

The result plays out in children like Jonathan, who coast through the early grades under the dangerous notion that no-effort academic achievement defines them as smart or gifted. Such children hold an implicit belief that intelligence is innate and fixed, making striving to learn seem far less important than being (or looking) smart. This belief also makes them see challenges, mistakes and even the need to exert effort as threats to their ego rather than as opportunities to improve. And it causes them to lose confidence and motivation when the work is no longer easy for them.

Praising children’s innate abilities, as Jonathan’s parents did, reinforces this mind-set, which can also prevent young athletes or people in the workforce and even marriages from living up to their potential. On the other hand, our studies show that teaching people to have a “growth mind-set,” which encourages a focus on effort rather than on intelligence or talent, helps make them into high achievers in school and in life.

A terrific article by Carol S. Dweck investigates the concequences of our praise, the image we present for our kids for the process of learning, the importance of the encouraging praise in a Scientific American Magazine: The Secret to Raising Smart Kids - Hint: Don't tell your kids that they are. More than three decades of research shows that a focus on effort—not on intelligence or ability—is key to success in school and in life